Client: 47 years old, married, two children aged 9 and 13, full-time computer-based work in a senior role.

Complaints:

• increased anxiety, especially in the morning and before sleep,

• irritability and emotional reactions that felt stronger than before,

• reduced tolerance to noise, interruptions and multitasking,

• difficulty switching off after work,

• feeling mentally overstimulated but physically tired,

• guilt after snapping at children or partner,

• a general feeling of “not feeling like herself anymore”.

Lifestyle patterns:

• sleeping around 6.5–7 hours per night, but often waking during the night or feeling alert too early in the morning,

• work required constant decision-making, communication and problem-solving,

• evenings were rarely restorative because she continued thinking about work, family logistics and unfinished tasks,

• family and household responsibilities created a constant background load. She was not doing everything alone, but she carried most of the planning and mental organisation,

• she often used coffee to push through the day and a glass of wine, sweet food or scrolling in the evening to feel some relief,

• exercise had become inconsistent. She knew movement helped her mood, but when she felt tense or exhausted, it was difficult to start,

• she described herself as someone who had always been capable, organised and emotionally stable, which made the change in her reactions especially unsettling.

PHASE I. Assessment and Analysis

At Phase I of our work we clarified that her deeper values were connected with family, emotional stability, health, independence, self-respect and being able to enjoy her life without feeling constantly pressured.

• In the present, she wanted to feel calmer, stop reacting so strongly to small things and be more emotionally available to her children and partner.

• In the long term, she wanted to move through perimenopause and menopause without losing her sense of identity, confidence or control over her daily life.

Phase I helped us see that the problem was not caused by one isolated factor.

• Her sleep duration looked almost sufficient, but her nervous system was not fully recovering overnight.

• Her daily cognitive and emotional load was higher than she had recognised.

• Her eating pattern, caffeine use and evening habits were partly compensating for fatigue and tension.

• Movement was present only occasionally because she associated it with needing time, motivation and energy, all of which felt limited.

• Her emotional reactions were not a character problem. They were part of a wider pattern of accumulated stress, reduced recovery and changing stress tolerance during perimenopause.

For this reason, we did not start with strict discipline, intensive exercise or pressure to “manage emotions better”. The main focus was to rebuild basic regulation:

• more stable energy through the day,

• better transitions between work and home,

• less accumulated tension in the evening,

• more predictable eating and caffeine habits,

• a realistic return to movement,

• earlier recognition of overload before it turned into irritability or anxiety.

The aim was not to make her calm all the time. The aim was to help her understand what was affecting her nervous system and create a realistic structure that supported her actual life.

PHASE II. Core Lifestyle Work

Over the first two months of Phase II, the client became better at recognising the early signs of overload. She started noticing that irritability usually appeared after several factors had accumulated: poor sleep, too much caffeine, skipped meals, a demanding workday, no transition time and too many evening responsibilities.

This helped reduce self-blame. Instead of seeing her reactions as a personal failure, she began to understand them as signals that her system was overloaded and needed earlier support.

We worked on simple recovery anchors during the day:

• short pauses between work blocks,

• more consistent meals,

• a clearer end-of-work transition and

• small moments of physical decompression before entering family time.

• Caffeine was adjusted gradually, without removing it completely.

• Evening habits were also reviewed, especially the use of wine, sweet foods and scrolling as a way to come down from the day.

Movement returned slowly. We did not begin with demanding workouts. The first goal was to use movement as a way to reduce tension, support mood and help the body shift out of a high-alert state. Later, this developed into a more structured programme with mobility, walking and gentle strength work.

During the same period the client reported that mornings felt less tense, emotional reactions became less frequent and evening anxiety reduced. She still had demanding days, but she recovered from them more quickly and felt less afraid of her own reactions.

During the third month of Phase II the focus shifted towards autonomy. The client learned to recognise her own patterns and choose suitable actions depending on her state. She became more confident in adjusting her day before reaching the point of emotional overload. By the end of the main phase, she had a clearer understanding of what influenced her anxiety, irritability, sleep, energy and ability to cope with daily demands.

PHASE III. Ongoing Support and Progression

After completing the main work the client chose to continue working together on sleep quality, stress recovery and physical strength. We also started an individual fitness programme focused on mobility, progressive strengthening and nervous system regulation through movement.

We selected a small set of relaxation techniques that matched her daily rhythm and did not require much time or special conditions. She could use them during short breaks at work, after finishing the working day, and before sleep. These techniques helped her create clearer transitions during the day, reduce accumulated tension and support the nervous system before it reached the point of overload.

The goal of the next phase is not only to reduce anxiety and irritability, but also to build a more resilient lifestyle for the years after menopause. This includes better recovery, stronger boundaries around load, regular movement, stable energy and a body that supports her independence, confidence and quality of life in midlife and beyond.